Jesus Culture - Your Love Never Fails

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoezWBPGRAc

Props to Sam

Last Thursday I had the wonderful opportunity of getting my wisdom teeth out...unfortunately the healing is taking a little longer than is expected...however I have to give Sam major kuddos b/c he's the man! He has helped me so much when I have felt so horrible...he's taken the kids to school and back (mind you it's a 15 min drive each way and he does that 3x's a day) plus he's been so helpful to me in so many ways...sometimes we don't give our spouses enough credit and he really deserves a lot right now! He's been such a support and help to me when I needed it most and I have been able to heal, relax and get the rest that I really need! I sure love my husband and am thankful to the Lord and He gave him to me! :-)

Seeking God

This year one of my resolutions is to fast one day a week. Last year Sam and I participated in two Daniel Fast's (a 21 day fruit and vegetable diet only!) It was really challenging to endure a long fast but I have to say it was so worth it, even though we still haven't seen the results we've wanted. We know God did something and is still at work...anyway, this year instead of doing that I wanted to challenge myself to put aside one day a week and really focus on allowing God to speak to me in a clear way and let all distractions go to the wayside. Today is my first fast day of the year...
It's funny b/c when I first started fasting I would get so hungry and usually quit halfday. I don't know if it's growing older and maturing that has helped me or just a deep desire to know God and His will for my life that the hunger seems so insignificant. Food becomes so trivial in light of what we're pursuing - the heart of God. Now don't get me wrong, I love food...in fact when the kids get a little older I want to go to culinary school and complete the personal chef program!
However, I can't tell you how desperately I want to know God in a deeper way...how much I want His favor on my life and my families, and how I just want to be used by Him is some way and to know that one day He will say "Well done, thou good and faithful servant"...

To Believe or Not to Believe

As the New Year approached I have to be honest I've been very anxious...not in a good way either. At the outset of last New Year's Eve I was extremely hopeful of the coming year that this (2009) would be the year that God broke through our situation and poured out His blessings on us. In contrast, it was the worst year of my life. I was so hopeful that God would do great things. I prayed, fasted, anticipated, hoped and believed for the best. This year I find myself fearful,not being so optimistic about this year in fear that I'll once again be disappointed by what this year will unfold. I'm really struggling to find a balance btwn being hopeful and realistic. I'm hoping that inspite of me it will be a good year for us. One of deliverance, blessing and seeing the favor of the Lord on our lives. I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer" (remember the skit from SNL?~sorry for the reference) but my natural tendency is to err on the side of realism and not hope. So therein lies my struggle. I want to be hopeful and expect God to do great things. Yet, it's a daily challenge to walk each day with not a clue in sight as to what our future holds or any possible chance of a change. I find myself being broken once more with a simple desire to serve the Lord...so why hasn't He opened a door for me and my family? Only time will tell I guess and waiting is our only option...

Sisters

Last night I took my sister back to the airport. We had a great visit...probably the best so far as adults...I really miss being near my family, especially this time of year. My sister has taught me a lot about life. She is an extremely generous and giving person and loves to make others happy. I've never met a more selfless person. She is a very simple person, yet she makes a profound impact with her life. She's served in the navy for 15+ years and is getting ready to moved to Cuba for her new orders. It will be a while before I get to see her so I'm extremely thankful for our short time together this week. If there's anything I've learned this season of our lives it's the importance of the people you love. No matter what things come or go they are the #1 priority. People are what matter. Not programs, not plans, not possessions. So embrace the ones you love. Thank them often, be kind to them, love on them continually and never miss an opportunity to share with them how you feel. May the memories that you make this Christmas warm your heart for years to come!

4 Days Left!

Today I'm getting ready to have my sister be with us for the week. Christmas is only 4 days away! I'm ahead of the game this year with cards done, gifts bought, and packages mailed. All that's left to do is a little wrapping and enjoy the season.
I can't wait to see my sister. In a couple of months she'll be deployed to Cuba for the next 18 months. So I'm hoping this will be a great year for us to be together.
When we first moved into our apt in May I remember thinking as long as we're out of here before the holidays I'll be fine, but if we're in this tiny place I will absolutely go crazy...well, the holidays are here and thankfully that hasn't been the case...God has brought me some wonderful neighbors, great kids in the neighborhood for the girls to play with and even a beautiful tree that fits perfectly!
Proverbs 19:21 comes to mind, "Many are the plans in a man's heart but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails"...I don't know what the Lord's purpose is in having us here and for sooo long...but I pray that I won't miss what He's trying to teach me b/c I'm anxious to move on...one day we'll have another house, and one day we'll look back on this season with great reflection. "As for God, His way is perfect!" (Ps 18:30)

Uphill

Several years ago I ran my first half marathon. I still remember the day very clearly. It was overcast with a light rain that got heavier as the day went on. The first 8 miles of the course was no easy trek. At first it started out as a gradual uphill. As I winded each turn the hill became more and more steep. I distinctly remember wanting to quit over and over, feeling wet, tired and that this race was never going to end. Not to mention 30 minutes into the race my ipod quit working. It was absolutely miserable. Obviously the conditions were not ideal. The further I ran the more pain I was experiencing in my knee and the heavier my legs felt. Mile 8 was definitely where I hit my wall. I remember telling myself just don't stop. You have to finish. With each step, as difficult and painful as it was I had to keep going forward.

This season of life has definitely felt like a marathon. This journey that we have been running the last 4+ years has for the most part felt like we've been running uphill. Each day we run gets increasingly more difficult and the decision to quit becomes more attractive. Spiritually speaking, my legs feel very heavy and I'm really not sure when this race will be over...in a race at least you know how many miles you have ahead of you, but in life no one knows what the next day holds. The finish line is no where to be seen. It's a challenge running a race that you don't know how long will last. The longer you run the more exhausting it is in every way.

In those last few miles it's a mental battle just staying on course.
It was the last few miles that were the hardest to push through. As I approached mile marker 12 with one left to go a good friend of mine came out and ran the last stretch with me. I remember feeling a little stupid about that but at the same time it gave me the extra strength that I needed. Well, eventually the uphill became downhill and I finished my half marathon, frozen, exhausted, completely sore and drained from the days events. When I crossed that finish line what I experienced was a great sense of accomplishment, pride and joy b/c I had endured my race, persevered and fulfilled what I had set out to do.

Life may often feel like an uphill battle but what goes up must eventually come down. Though this season of our life feels like it will never end, scripture tells us that many are the afflictions of the righteous, BUT the Lord WILL deliver him out of them ALL! (Psalms 34:19). It's my prayer that when this "race" is over and God brings us out we will look back at this time in our lives with great humility, wisdom, thankfulness and a heart that has been enlarged by life's trials so that we can run alongside those who are struggling to run their uphill race and encourage them on to finish strong and experience joy in the journey!

Crazy thing is...now I want to run a full marathon!