Displaced

I have a few minutes before I head out to Megan's field day at the park...anyway, I'm sitting here at Panera bread with my coffee and treat (this is one of my favorite things in life) yet I'm so discouraged and displaced with where I'm at in life right now. It has been an ugly struggle for me these past few years...I'm just thankful that God still loves me inspite of who I am.
To not know what you're doing in life and feel like you are not living your true God given purpose but going through the mundane day to day duties of life is a very sad place to be. I feel like I'm at a breaking point in this journey. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I know God gives strength to the weary and He is close to the brokenhearted but I need some good news or some sort of direction. This mindless wandering is about all I can handle right now. I dont' know if it's just b/c I'm starting back to work full time next week or b/c all of the major changes in our lives right now. but it's a difficult place to be. I sold my home. I'm living in an apartment. I'm going back to work. Kids are getting ready to get out of school. We're still not sure where we're going to live and I have no clue where to put my kids in school next year b/c we dont' know where we're going to be. It's become unbearable. I know God's in control. I have to believe it b/c He said He was, even though it DOES NOT feel like He is. I have to believe that He works EVERYTHING out for good b/c He does love us and we are called according to His purposes. But I'm discouraged. So even more I can't go by how I feel. I have to believe that God's ways are higher than my ways and that good is on the way. I don't know how much longer we're going to have to wait. I only wish I knew.
What I am thankful for is that my family is all together under one roof. My kids are healthy and happy and very well adjusted. My husband and I are more committed to each other now than we ever were before, we have family close by, God provided this job for me even though His provision came in a form that wasn't my first choice. I'm still alive. I can walk, talk, see, hear and feel. So I can stand on the word of God and His promises. I can offer up a sacrifice of praise with my lips. I can see the beauty of His creation around me. I can listen to beautiful worship music that comforts my heart and be encouraged by the spoken word from my favorite leaders. I can wrap my arms around my beautiful family and thank Him for all He's blessed me with. I can learn to sing in the rain instead of just getting wet....